When clients get activated in session—crying or raging or numbing-out/flat-lining—therapists often remind them to drop down and check in with their bodies. Reports from the body include tight chests, tingling hands, neck pain, pressured eyes, the list goes on.
If we have practiced resting with the physical sensations that accompany us throughout the day, rather than ignoring them, we often find that what lies beneath our initial defensive responses, like disappointment and anger, is sadness. It takes sustained practice to allow for and then explore the wisdom our bodies provide. Our habitual practice in calmly attending to the body and its messages eventually becomes hugely helpful in staying resourced.
Our bodies truly do keep the score, acting as storage units for residue that was too intense or too dangerous to be processed at the time of the event. Physical sensation may, therefore, be our first signal that old stories are being churned up into present events and confusion may ensue. Bennett Braun’s acronym BASK can help us remember the four ways we can suddenly find ourselves lost at sea: Behavior, Affect, Sensation, Knowledge. These triggered responses can happen simultaneously, or individually, or in any combination.
When triggered, we may Behave in ways that were appropriate in the past. The A in BASK stand for Affect, psych-lingo for the emotions or moods that arise, which echo from the past and overtake the present. For example, you may have grown up in a war-torn country where bombs were dropped at sunset. Though you left that country and its war 35 years ago, the sun going down might still cause you fear and the need to get your loved one inside.
The S in BASK is for Sensation. We can physically experience a remembered pain or respond to remembered smells, tastes, sounds. And the K is for Knowing, which helps us remember that conclusions and evidence from the past might not be applicable to the here-and-now, or even accurate. Alternatively, we may NOT know or remember something that could inform or help us in the present because it was dangerous to know in the past.
With higher levels of trauma and/or with higher frequency, we can lose whole segments of our pasts, or remember them in pieces. With less trauma, we might see all the evidence and not make a conclusion, thereby protecting ourselves by not knowing. For example, you might see someone’s red face, loud voice, and exaggerated gestures and not conclude he is angry. Or you may recognize low-level frustration and feel your heart begin to race as if you are in physical danger reminiscent of the past. You might even feel pain at the sight of a past injury.
When we can better manage hyper- or hypo-arousal, we can better protect important relationships, both professional and, even more importantly, personal. Calming and resourcing ourselves back to tolerance and flexibility might involve any of the following:
Paying more attention to physical sensations and needs. It is best to practice this when we are calm, and when we are already within our window of tolerance. Then, when our body needs to cultivate more self-awareness, it remember the practice and associates it with calmness, self-efficacy ad clarity of mind.
Cultivating a curiosity about your body’s pleasures and discomforts; making room to consider them and to wonder about their meaning. Too often we quickly explain stomach pain away—It must be what I had for lunch—or attribute numb feet to new shoes.
Becoming familiar with your own trigger-patterns: how it feels physically—blushing, cold fingers, tears, heart pain. Or emotionally—fear; envy; anger. Then asking yourself to remember when you felt this for the first time and/or the strongest.
Similarly, observing and taking note of the situations in which you are apt to get mixed-up in either or both of two ways: mix-ups about what is actually happening as well as mix-ups about the meaning you attached to it. Check in with trusted people who were also present or who know you. How do they read the situation, and what sense do they make of your response?
Meditating as frequently as you can—even for 15 minutes every few days—will allow you to metabolize loud thoughts and feelings. It will also create a domino effect that can calm your nervous system by providing the time and space necessary to allow your body to remember breathing into calm, and creating new neural networks.
Last and not at all least, committing to a meditation practice will facilitate healing which follows a path that is surprising to many of us: body-to-mind, bottom-up healing. One resource we find very helpful are Tara Brach’s RAIN meditations at www.tarabrach.com.
Also see next servings of: CARESS and Emotional Grounding.
References: Lisa Ferentz, Treating Self-Destructive Behaviors in Trauma Survivors
Jon Allen, Coping with Trauma: Hope through Understanding